Angela Finn | Sydney

How love feels

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July 1, 2020

Doing things differently

Eight years ago, when I became a marriage celebrant, I had no idea what 2020 would be like.

The Coronavirus, the Black Lives Matter movement, climate change, plus the Me Too movement have opened my eyes to how much inequality and stress there is in the world I live in.

Much of it is needless and counterproductive. Unfair too. Perpetuated by the dominant culture as the ‘right or only way’ to do things.

Weddings fall into this dominant culture.

Marriage ceremonies – by and large – follow a relatively typical structure and format that fits nicely into what a wedding should look like.

Societal expectations, as well as ‘traditions’ and etiquette perpetuated by consumerism – affect the design.

Well, it’s time to challenge the status quo, break out of the confines of what a wedding day should look like, and instead create something different.

Doing things differently is an attitude of possibility. It encourages curiosity, learning, creativity, empathy, diversity, generousity, and confidence.

I’m offering a ‘different way to get married’ for couples who want to deviate from typical wedding traditions and infuse equality and creativity into their marriage ceremony.

It’s called an ‘alt marriage ceremony’

It might stand for an alternative approach to getting married. But what it truly stands for is taking responsibility for the decisions you make.

It’s questioning why, sitting with discomfort, embracing change.

It’s standing up for equality, diversity, and making a difference.

If you want a ceremony that reflects what matters most to you and takes your relationship to a whole new level, contact me to kick it up a notch.

By: Angela Finn · Filed Under: Ceremony Content

April 11, 2017

Married At First Sight Ceremony

The day I sat down to write Aleni and Simon’s ceremony script for Married At First Sight is the day that it hit me – how am I going to write a ceremony having never met the couple?

Before I got started, I had a good, long think about Simon and Aleni. I figured the pair were pretty gutsy. After all, appearing on national television in a social experiment to find love was somewhat brave. Their mission to find love was serious.

With this in mind, they deserved the best ceremony possible to support their quest.  Here it is…

Hi everyone and welcome! I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Angela Finn, and I am a civil marriage celebrant.

I am SO excited to be with you as we participate in a very special commitment between two people who seek to find happiness and love.

I imagine that everyone is feeling nervous, and that’s completely expected. Let’s be honest – besides our bride and groom – we are ALL taking a leap of faith today.

As Aleni and Simon’s celebrant, this ceremony is to affirm their intention and to support and wish them every happiness.

So, I invite everyone to take a few deep breaths, let go of any doubts, fears and expectations, and let’s enjoy this wonderful experience……

Could I invite those seated to stand as we welcome the gorgeous bride, Aleni escorted by her father.

Please be seated.

Well how good is this? Let’s give Aleni and Simon a big round of applause to show our love and support to them on this special day.

Today’s ceremony is not a legal marriage between Aleni and Simon but a commitment ceremony.

Today, this beautiful couple will be joined by their hopes, dreams and by their promises of what will be.

The vows they make this day, shall guide them into their future.

While many of us are meeting for the first time, we are united in a common purpose to support and wish Simon and Aleni every happiness, as they embark on this unique experience.

Being a part of Married At First Sight, is basically a modern-day way of meeting people.

After all, finding the right partner or spouse is different today as it was say 50 years ago, when life was a little simpler, and expectations differed.

Today, we are more discerning, and life is complex, with a whole new set of demands and expectations.

But, if there is one thing I have learnt as a Celebrant it is this – love can happen quite unexpectedly, and there is no recipe or measure for a perfect relationship or marriage.

After all, what makes a marriage thrive and survive is different for everyone.

Simon and Aleni, you have come here today with your individual personalities and histories to embark on a quest to find the love of your life.

In a few moments, you will make a commitment to each other, in the hope, that you will find someone that you can be truly happy with to share your life.

It’s a massive leap of faith.  You are ready to risk who you are, for the sake of who you can be.

But, in the wise words of poet William Arthur Ward:
“…risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life
is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, is nothing”

So, congratulations Simon and Aleni for taking a risk.

In the coming days and weeks, you will experience wonderful moments together, and I suspect a few challenges too.

As you discover each other’s likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, enjoy the experience, and be open to learn, to change and to adapt.

Remember to look upon each other’s strengths with joy, accept each other’s imperfections with understanding, and above all, have fun, laugh and enjoy the journey!

Simon and Aleni will now state their intentions

Aleni, do you come here today freely and of your own accord to commit to Simon in this union? Do you promise to focus on the positive as you learn and grow as individuals and as a couple?
Aleni: I do

Simon, do you come here today freely and of your own accord to commit to Aleni in this union? Do you promise to focus on the positive as you learn and grow as individuals and as a couple?
Simon: I do

Family and friends, now that Simon and Aleni have stated their intentions to each other, I have something special to ask you to declare, and in reply I’d like you to shout an almighty, WE DO!

Do you give your support to Aleni and Simon in their quest for love and happiness?
All: 
We do!

Wow! There is a whole lot of love in this room. This is great, because now we come to one of the most beautiful parts of the ceremony, the vows. I invite Simon to share his promises to Aleni.

Simon: To my new bride. I have come here today with an open and happy heart, an open mind, and a positive attitude for sharing my life with you. [The rest is private]

Aleni: Standing here today, takes courage, strength, faith…and a pinch of crazy. I do not know what the next days, weeks or years hold for us, but I want you to know that I have our best interest at heart. [The rest is private]

Aleni and Simon, there is no greater happiness than that of sharing life with all its joys, and its cares, as a loving couple. I invite you to exchange and receive rings as a visible sign of your commitment to each other.

Aleni, please place the ring on Simon’s third finger of his left hand, and repeat after me: Simon, I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you.

Simon, please place the ring on Aleni’s third finger of her left hand, and repeat after me: Aleni, I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you.

Family and friends, this beautiful couple have declared their commitment to each other through the exchange of vows and the giving of rings, so everyone, get ready to make some noise as we congratulate Aleni and Simon.

May you always remember the excitement and happiness you feel today.

 

By: Angela Finn · Filed Under: Ceremony Content

February 24, 2017

Write a personal wedding vow

Wedding ceremonies where the couple says a personal vow in addition to their legal vow adds to the meaning of their commitment.

Personal wedding vows usually include individual person-specific references (eg. I promise to support your football team and go to their games with you).

If couples are not confident writing their own personal vows, I provide examples to use, amend or edit as they see fit.

Like this one…Name, I promise to speak to you and about you with kindness, respect and compassion. I cannot promise that I won’t annoy or frustrate you, or to never be moody. I might not always agree with you, but I will always consider your opinion with an open heart and mind. I promise to love you, support you, and to stand with you and not run when the going gets tough. This is my vow to you.

Or this one…Name, from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life. You inspire me to be the best person I can be. I promise to love, respect and care for you. I vow to love you as you are, and not as I want you to be. I promise to grow old by your side as your lover and best friend.  This is my vow to you today and always.

Some couples write their personal vows and share them with each other in advance so they both know that their vows are similar in length and tone. Sharing vows before the wedding also enables the couple to “take in” the meaning of the vows, without any distractions or nerves that may arise on the wedding day.

Some couples keep their vows secret and share them for the first time at their wedding. If couples choose to do this, I ask them to decide on a similar word count. Nothing worse than if one person writes two lines and the other twenty!

Some couples say their vows line by line in an alternate fashion.

For example… Groom:I promise to always love you and take care of you
Bride:I promise to never stop working to make us even stronger
Groom:I promise to honour the commitments we make today, whether I am far from home or wrapped in your arms.
Bride:I promise that from this day forward you’ll never walk alone
Groom:I promise to give you my undivided attention, as long as there is no football on TV.
Bride:I promise to never keep score, even when I am totally winning
Groom:I promise to believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself
Bride:I cannot promise that I will always deserve you, but I promise I will try my very best.
Groom:I promise to grow old along with you.
Bride:I promise you, me.

Want more ideas? Check out this great guide on writing vows from Wedshed

 

 

By: Angela Finn · Filed Under: Ceremony Content

November 21, 2016

Vintage Elegance

Tegan 4

Tegan Dengate and Adam Smith hosted their wedding at the Robertson Hotel, nestled in the Southern Highlands of NSW. This 1920’s hotel with beautiful gardens and elegant architecture was the perfect setting for their elegant vintage themed wedding. Photography by Damien Furey

Tegan shares some thoughts about her wedding ceremony.

Why did you hold the ceremony indoors, and not in the Hotel grounds?
Being August, the weather was cool, so for the comfort of our guests we used the ‘drawing room’ for the ceremony. It accommodated all our guests comfortably. The fireplace and the beautiful sunlight that streamed through the antique windows created a warm and inviting atmosphere. The natural light not only created a romantic feel, but it was ideal for photographs.

Tegan 3

Why did you choose Angela Finn as your Celebrant?
Adam and I wanted to have the right words and to be able to recognize the special people in our lives. At our first meeting with Angela we found it difficult to articulate exactly what we wanted, but she must have been an expert in body language and reading between-the-lines, as the first draft of our ceremony was ‘spot on’ what we were after.

Describe your ceremony style and theme
We focused on keeping the ceremony light, moving and memorable.  Adam and I met in 2006 and we’ve built a pretty busy life together, so we wanted our ceremony to be a recognition of the step we were taking together, rather than a “starting our lives together” feel. We also wanted to acknowledge our parents and grandparents, which Angela was able to write into the ceremony beautifully.

What unique details did you include in the ceremony?
Adam and I have a big bunch of friends so instead of calling them bridesmaids and groomsmen we called them the “I-Do Crew”.  They walked in pairs down the aisle followed by my maid of honour to an acoustic version of “Just the way you are”.  Then the music changed to Jack Johnson’s “Better Together”, and I walked down the aisle with Mum and Dad on either arm. When I saw Adam waiting at the end of the aisle, I couldn’t stop smiling.

Did you choose any readings for the ceremony?
We did not intend to include a reading, but after looking through the ceremony resources that Angela provided, we really liked the “The Art of Marriage” by Wilfred A Peterson. It is such a realistic, practical approach to marriage which resonated with us.

Tegan 2

What were the most touching moments in your ceremony?
There were lots of touching moments – like walking down the aisle with Mum and Dad, seeing Adam for the first time, laughing at the jokes about Adam and I in our story, and of course, exchanging our wedding vows and rings.

We were surprised at the humourous moments that occurred in the ceremony which we hadn’t planned. Like when I put Adams ring on with way too much force, and bending down to speak into the microphone as if I was bowing. Adam and I, along with our guests were all had a laugh which made the ceremony relaxed, fun and  intimate.

What did your guests say about your ceremony?
We had so many lovely comments about our ceremony. Guests commented on how much love they felt in the room, and how great it was that we incorporated our parents and grandparents into the ceremony. A lot of people commented on Angela’s friendliness and how she organized all our guests into their positions before the ceremony.

couple laughing wedding ceremony

 

Do you have any advice for engaged couples about their wedding ceremony?
One thing that I have suggested to a few people I know who are planning to get married is how important the rehearsal is. Angela made her way to Robertson the day before our wedding and ran through the entire ceremony a number of times with our “I-Do crew” and parents to ensure everyone knew what they were required to do.

The rehearsal made all of us so relaxed. The following day we were just able to enjoy the ceremony knowing everything was taken care of. We even changed our vows slightly during the rehearsal and Ange showed up the next day with our new vows printed and ready to go.

Wedding Ceremony Music Playlist
Processional: Jason Mraz” Just the way you are”
Bride’s entrance: Jack Johnson “Better Together”
Signing of the Register: Landon Austin – Best part of Me.
Recessional:  Vance Joy – Fire and Flood
Coldplay – Sky Full Of Stars

Florist: Eden Flowers (Mount Annan)

 

 

By: Angela Finn · Filed Under: Ceremony Content

April 1, 2015

Words matter.

marriage-equalityThursday April 2, 2015

I love words. I love that every word has a variety of senses and connotations, and words evolve and change meaning.

As a writer, and marriage celebrant how I use words is important to me. Words are beautiful tools and can carry immeasurable significance.

And so, I inwardly cringe every time I officiate a wedding and declare that “Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others” [Read more…]

By: Angela Finn · Filed Under: Ceremony Content

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